Cialis Sojourn: A Journey through Cyberspace

When push comes to shove:

It took one hell of an effort to come into terms with my underperformance or no-performance (the correct choice of word) in bed. It never was an issue when I was young, strong and healthy. Has age taken its toll on my virility? Well, I thought I was a goner, and was filled with trepidation and perturbation at having entered a stage of sexual vacuum. I surrendered to my fate, cos I knew even the heavens couldn’t help me. But a stubborn bull of a wife wouldn’t take it that way. I gave a deaf ear to her constant babbles and gabbles, day in and day out, to look for a solution. But push finally came to shove and I had to look for a way, when heaven had closed its doors on me.

Oh my god! I need Cialis.

Anyway, I couldn’t fault her. She is just forty and I am on the wrong side of fifty. We married in the fall of 2003, after a yearlong passionate romance of flowers and beaches. Our courtship days were full of exhilarating sexual escapades. The wonderful sexual chemistry we enjoyed was a binding force in our two years of married life. But things suddenly went out of hand, when our second anniversary was just round the corner. The invigorating sessions in bed showed a drastic slide. From a daily occurrence, it gradually became a once in a week affair. And one fine day, I was shell-shocked when I failed to get even an erection.

My wife, co-operative (especially when it came to sex) as she was, and I had a good chat. She passed it off as just a silly incident. But the next day the same thing happened again, my organ was dead as a dodo. From that day on, we tried titillating perfumes, stimulating ointments, sexy lingerie and what nots, but we always came up against a blank wall. I felt as if the ground was giving way under my feet. Then one day out of the blue, Meg popped up the million dollar question, “ Andy, you have a problem, I think you have erectile dysfunction. Why don’t we try Cialis?” “ No way! It’s just my age” I yelled and rushed out of the house. It was then the blabbers began.

Resigned to my helplessness, I fretted and fumed for a week. But my wife kept on planning her moves strategically that before I could say ‘checkmate’, I found myself wandering aimlessly in cyberspace witch-hunting for the ‘Le Weekender Pill’. But finding the right place to buy Cialis from the sea of sites selling Cialis was not exactly a chalk and cheese thing, though it is an altogether different story.

Where art thou Cialis?

I am no novice when it comes to ordering things online. I knew I had a tough task ahead of me. Filtering out a genuine place to talk shop in the net would be risky business. But no way was I going let some crackpot of a sexual psychologist, a sneak preview of my bedroom woes (by paying him?). caught between the devil and the deep sea, I plunged headlong into the sea, fishing for Cialis.

I began hitting the keys on my monitor and there before my naked eyes endless lists of sites selling ‘cheap’, ‘branded’, ‘discounted’ and ‘genuine’ Cialis popped up on my screen. I was in a fix. How could a product be cheap, branded, discounted and genuine at the same time? They would soon be out of business, the way they were doing business. “Hey Meg, I can’t do this alone,” I shouted, “better give me a hand”. Two heads are better than one, I realized. Meg suggested we try randomly at different sites. So began a ‘hit and trial’ hitting on the keyboard.

A female of the species, she was attracted to sites with sweet sounding names like cialiswonder, and others of the category with a dream or magic thrown in. I quote the Bard, “What's in a name? That which we will call a rose. By any other word would smell as sweet." But stubborn as she was sweet, she went ahead. (My apologies to William) She finally zeroed in on two sites and we started out filling the order forms. ‘No prescriptions required, you just need to fill in a simple online form’. My foot! The whole procedure was nothing less cranky than facing a live physician for a prescription. But what the heck, better finish what I started out. So, I finally place the orders at two sites. Then the wait began.

Mixed doubles:

Two packages arrived, one after the other. Missing out on the nocturnal activities for quite a while, I was eager and anxious, as if I was readying for my first lay in the back of dad’s car way back in high school. So, I bushwhacked through the first package and immediately downed a pill. The consulting physician of the online pharmacy told me over phone that I would experience the sexual high in 30 minutes after taking the pill. But nothing happened in the first half-hour, in spite of the exciting ministrations of Meg. I gave her a knowing look, meaning we were hoodwinked. She told me to wait. 45 minutes, one hour, it didn’t come. Then by the 75th minute, I felt a tingling in my groin. Impatient, like a bitch on heat, I was all over my wife. Then, bang, it was all over, the way it started. But still happy with the result, I looked forward to the next 35 hours. Holy cow, my boner remained placid and flaccid, the entire 35 hours. I flushed the remaining pills down the john.

Anyway I still had the other package to further carry out my virility trial. Low on confidence, but high in spirit, I reluctantly took the other pill. Even my wife didn’t show the usual sign of interest in the exercise this time round. Then I got the surprise of surprises. Hardly 25 minutes had passed, when I saw the resurrection down under. I wanted to shout “Happy Easter” (with no offence to the gods). But first things first. Meg was surprised when she saw the sign of life in my poker so fast. Then everything came back to me. Let me cut out the events of the day, but tell you what, thereafter Meg never sighed in bed, she always cried out. (She still does)